It was a nice crowd on the bus for the most part, except for a gang at the back who, not content to just ignore the rest of us and keep to their elite little clique, had to make a show of snapping their necks to the side with pursed lips and squinted eyes whenever someone made the fatal mistake of speaking to them or anyone in their vicinity. While this kind of behavior would be considered freakish most places you go, you get used to it amongst English teachers in Korea, especially in my town of Icheon. Seoul is considerably better but what can you do with these snotty brats? We're all better off facing their cold shoulders than their vacuous hostile faces.
They were six of them: four sloppy young women, an effeminate boy and a big contender for a Tor Johnson look-a-like contest who seemed rather eager to straighten out anyone who disturbed his peace, like a small town bully in the local bar who works harder every year to maintain his reputation as a man to be feared while his gut continues to spread, picking his battles more carefully and putting on a big show. He hunched forward to glare openly at Edgar and Ariel like he was ready to straighten them out if they thought they could just waltz on to the bus and.... Well, they hadn't done anything remotely offensive. Yet. But he was ready, damn it. Just try something. Ariel and Edgar didn't seem to notice him. They were sleeping long before the bus pulled out of Itaewon.
By the second night, this crew relaxed enough to talk to other people and they were excited to tell us all about their previous night's adventure when they harrassed some local on the beach. One of the girls insisted I was there when I knew I'd been hanging at Haeundae.
"Don't you remember? We strangled Superman."
Superman was a local man, not very big, who walked the beach in a costume selling fireworks. They thought his product was substandard and they had a picture to show everyone of Tor Johnson himself pretending to strangle the poor guy. I would have remembered that. It was gross. Whether Tor just grabbed the unsuspecting hero by the neck while one of his nasty girl friends snapped the shot or they coerced him
into posing, there seemed to have been real intimidation involved. Either way, the big joke was that he could still walk all over a smaller man.
Have I mentioned that I'm not always a nice guy? I try. I really do. But I didn't laugh politely as expected. I said, "Oh yeah, and look, you're Lex Luthor." an easy obvious reference to his completely bald head and villainous behavior. I didn't add "a gluttonous lardass Lex Luthor." but this meathead looked so offended, stupefied by such harsh words, as if I'd said "#@*%^@, you *&#@*%y, *&@#%*&88y *#@*head, and walked away like it was all he could do in the situation. He might have liked to strangle me too but somehow that wouldn't be as much fun as tormenting a hard working class peddler. Such a sensitive man. It was back to business as usual with him and the other charmers, at least for me. I overheard one of the girls muttering "That guy's an asshole." I felt warm inside.
Now the time has come to spill the beans on Adventure Korea, the tour company that caters to the foreign clientele. The problem with a lot of package tours is they keep to a schedule. Sometimes you'll see something very cool but it's already time to get back in the bus. Adventure Korea had a special trick of telling everyone to be back by the bus half an hour before it was actually time to leave, ensuring they were never inconvenienced by their guests. A bunch of us finally caught on after the visit to a lighthouse and some dramatic cliffs. It was one of those situations where you barely get there in time to take a picture before spinning on your heels to go back. Nice place too. I could have enjoyed it for hours. People were settled in for a day of dramatic coastal beauty. There was live music on the rocks.
From there we stopped in downtown Busan for dinner. They set an unrealistic time frame to get back to the bus but according to them it would simply be assumed that people chose to stay behind and find their own way back later if they were late. A few were left behind. This was one occasion when return time was exactly what they said. Ariel and I returned on time but they were already revving up the bus and we had to run. It was Saturday night and our guides had no intentions of allowing their jobs or responsibility to their guests interfere with their personal lives.
It gets much worse. We were all supposed to meet outside the hotel at 9 pm to check out a bar they'd recommended. I'd been told it wasn't another trendy club so this time I came along. They kept us waiting for an hour and a half, blaming it on the taxi company. They were busy on their cell phones the whole time arranging their own social lives. When the taxi van arrived, everyone except for our guides and the two women they'd picked up, dropped in 2 bucks. It was pretty cramped. I ended up on the floor, squished behind the driver.
My math skills are poor but there were a lot of us in there and, for the short drive, I hope the taxi driver got a nice tip out of it. Sure, it was a van but my own ride home was 5 bucks and more than 20 had been collected.
It gets worse. We stopped at a bar where some of the guide's friends had been waiting for them and then we (the guests) were given directions to the bar intended for us about a mile back the exact way we had come. These guys wouldn't even stop the cab to let us out, likely because the fare wasn't collected until the end of the trip and they wanted their evening's entertainment subsidized. We'd walked a good ways before I understood how we'd been used. I was furious and frustrated that no one else felt the same. I didn't understand these people at all.
"Oh, come on now, don't be negative."
"Are you *&@@*&&@* serious? We waited an hour and a half for no reason. We paid for the cab and they let us walk a mile instead of letting us out on the way. Their behavior is negative. They're scum."
"Aw, I'm just happy that somebody's getting laid tonight."
I was astounded. There is such a thing as being too nice and understanding. To my mind, if you smile and say "No problem. Have a nice day." to everyone who screws you over, that's bad karma. All you achieve with that kind of complacency is empowering them to abuse the next person.
"Yeah, like I care. Do you seriously think those muscled pretty boys have a hard time getting laid?" Well, maybe they do. Somebody was laughing at a bunch of glossy prostitute flyers he came home with that night. Turns out they were given to him by one of the guide's dates.
We walked on. I kept getting madder with every step. "I will tell everyone I know about these people and how they treat their guests."
"Aw, don't do that. Just let it go. Let's have a nice evening."
Well, there's the story in my world famous blog and now both people who read this know all about it. Take that, Adventure Korea.
"I'll be damned if I go to any bar where those guys get a kickback." I grabbed a cab and called it a night. The rest were glad to see me go since I was being such a Mr. Negative. Whatever.
It was a good choice. The reviews the next morning were not good. No wonder our guides didn't come along. It was touted as a one price all-you-can-drink place, sort of like an alcohol buffet. That wasn't quite true. The place was so understaffed it was more of an all-the-drinks-you-can-manage-to-get-at-the-ridiculously-crowded-bar type of place. It was just a trough and not even a good one. Anyone who thought they were in for a cheap drunk had their dreams crushed.
It must be said. Adventure Korea sucks. If you manage to learn Korean, do yourself a favor and go to other tour companies or do some research and go on your own at your own pace. Busan is an interesting city.
Check out the pictures. I'll go back another day and make my own tour.
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